Self-forgiveness worksheet

This guide to self-forgiveness worksheets gives mental health therapists a brief overview of how to help clients achieve self-forgiveness and includes sample exercises.

So, if you’re a therapist looking for a self-forgiveness worksheet to explain self-forgiveness to clients, you’re in the right place. 

You can also download a free printable forgiving yourself worksheet to save to your electronic health record (EHR) for repeated use with clients. 

How to help clients achieve self-forgiveness

Forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, can be challenging for clients. Yet, the practice of self-forgiveness is associated with improved health and well-being. 

Studies also show that self-forgiveness may be an effective tool for addressing self-condemnation, which is associated with feelings of guilt, shame, and self-stigma, leading to better outcomes related to substance use disorders and suicidal behavior. 

While several well-known forgiveness models exist (such as Enright and REACH), self-forgiveness is slightly more nuanced. 

Individuals often find it difficult to forgive themselves and internalize their emotions, which is why a self-forgiveness worksheet can be helpful. 

Many of the same steps in these models of forgiveness apply to the practice of self-forgiveness.

Follow these steps, included in the forgiving yourself worksheet, to help clients achieve self-forgiveness:

• Deepen your understanding of your emotions. Clients may feel angry, but later uncover that, beneath the surface, they are feeling shame.
• Identify ways your behavior was misaligned with your values, such as violating your sense of justice.
• Accept responsibility for your mistakes, apologize to yourself if that feels right, and find ways to make things right. 
• Treat yourself kindly, with self-compassion. 
• Find meaning in the experience, clarify your values, and commit to behaving in a more values-aligned way.
• Look for ways to stay connected to the practice of self-compassion and self-forgiveness in the future. 

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Self-forgiveness exercises

There are several ways clients can use the self-forgiveness worksheet, including:

Writing a letter to themselves 

In the letter, they can express their feelings, how they’ve acted out of alignment with their morals and values, apologize, write down the ways they want to behave in future situations, and include ways they are showing self-compassion for their mistakes. 

Pretend they’re advising a friend 

If a client finds it hard to practice self-forgiveness, ask them to imagine they were advising their friend about a mistake they had made. 

Ask them if they would show the friend resentment and anger or be kinder and show compassion. 

You might suggest they model the same tone and language to themselves. 

Reflect on values 

You could use an acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) self-forgiveness worksheet to help clients identify their core value system and how their actions were out of alignment with those values. 

Identify thought distortions 

Clients may be experiencing cognitive distortions, such as catastrophizing, and may benefit from reframing these thought distortions into more adaptive thoughts to support the process of self-forgiveness. 

Explore barriers to self-forgiveness 

Using a forgiving yourself worksheet, work with the client to identify the obstacles they may face, such as feeling they don’t deserve forgiveness, having difficulty separating their actions from who they are, and fear of repeating their mistakes.

Developing self-empathy 

Reflecting on the circumstances that might have led to the offending behavior can help. For instance, perhaps the client triggered a trauma response and was acting in a self-protective way. 

Understanding that can help clients see they were acting with good intentions. 

Revealing underlying responses might provide an opportunity to work on any unresolved trauma and identify ways to affirm their safety.

Practice a loving kindness meditation

Here are the steps for this loving kindness meditation, which are also included in the forgiving yourself worksheet:

• Find a comfortable position. Sit quietly and close your eyes if that feels comfortable.
• Take a few slow, deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth.
• Repeat the following phrases for a few minutes:
• “May I be happy.”
• “May I be healthy.”
• “May I be safe.”
• “May I live with ease.”
• Repeat the phrases for others:
• “May you be happy.”
• “May you be healthy.”
• “May you be safe.”
• “May you live with ease.”
• Extend the wishes to all beings:
• “May all beings be happy.”
• “May all beings be healthy.”
• “May all beings be safe.”
• “May all beings live with ease.”
• Take a deep breath and let the feelings of compassion and kindness settle. When you’re ready, open your eyes and return to the present moment.

These exercises are included in the self-forgiveness worksheets for adults PDF, which you can download for free at the top of this article.

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Using the self-forgiveness worksheet with clients

You might find it helpful to use the self-forgiveness worksheet with clients in the following situations:

• In session to illustrate the self-forgiveness process
• To provide ideas for self-forgiveness exercises
• As a prompt to explore barriers to self-forgiveness
• Provide clients with the forgiving yourself worksheet as a handout to complete a self-forgiveness exercise between sessions, and then debrief at their next therapy appointment 

Sources

• Hsu H. P. (2021). The Psychological Meaning of Self-Forgiveness in a Collectivist Context and the Measure Development. Psychology research and behavior management.
• Vismaya, A., Gopi, A., Romate, J., & Rajkumar, E. (2024). Psychological interventions to promote self-forgiveness: a systematic review. BMC psychology.
• Webb, J. R., & Boye, C. M. (2024). Self-Forgiveness and Self-Condemnation in the Context of Addictive Behavior and Suicidal Behavior. Substance abuse and rehabilitation.

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